i was thinking, she s going to be here in ten minutes, it s not that bad. i don t know how he learned to do this process, but it really is amazing. Suddenly, max changed gears and spoke in his you-silly-daddy voice -- but my bed isn t big enough. If you want to help someone, try some of these. yesterday when he woke up, i practiced recognizing his feelings without fixing or correcting. Often, the fewer words from you, the better, especially when someone needs to talk and they are both willing and able. and when people are sad, understanding is infinitely more precious that facts. I wish we could both snuggle with her right now. And from watching what works and what doesn t work. he would smile out of love and i would feel so much relief that i wasn t crazy for feeling what ever i felt. Again, part of me felt rejected and wanted to go away. In fact, if there is a communication breakdown, if there is a wall between you and someone else, it probably has been built with the bricks of that must really hurt. Also, to help someone release their feelings try: what bothers you the most about it validating children. By validating someone we demonstrate that we care and that their feelings matter to us-- in other words, that they matter to us. Because he had taken the moment to recognize my feelings before he forced some lecture on me, i was able to open up and learn so much from whatever story he was telling me. But i have found that usually if i just validate someone, they are able to work out their own emotional problems even faster than if i were to give them my advice validating children. This i believe is a sign of not only high eq but of wisdom.
I want mama, sulked max, somehow accusing me for being the wrong parent. We feel connected with them and they feel connected with us. I read everything i could find on your site about validating feelings. You ve put a lot of work into this and i found your site helpful. By mirroring someone s feelings, we show them that we are in tune with them. i sat down on his bed and said, i really miss her too. Like he suddenly felt the same thing or remembered feeling a similar feeling. instead, i chose to speak to the want that max was expressing. she could hold you close, and we could all squeeze into your little bed. On the other hand, when they are feeling excited and enthusiastic, this validation encourages them and helps keep their spirits high. when i say, you know mama s going to be home soon, right. It s fairly easy to see this in child of two-and-a-half -- but the premise is true for people of all ages. It was obvious by his face that he was scared and i wanted to share, understand, and validate his feeling. Most of us truly want to help other people, but often we don t know how, or we try too hard and we start giving advice, as our parents did to us. For example when someone is excited, proud etc. Often i notice other social workers invalidating a child s feelings. Jeffrey when someone is experiencing a strong feeling, sometimes we try to help by telling her or him it s not so bad.
When a person is feeling down, these bonds are sometimes all that another person needs to begin to feel better and solve their own problems. feelings are real, even when the causes don t make sense to another person. i suspect he heard my effort to minimize his feelings: go away daddy.bible scriptures on dating and relationships.. i resisted, and instead said lovingly, you really want mama, don t you. one of the most important emotional skills is the skill of validation. A message from a social worker on validation and invalidation steve, i love your site. I found your site by typing validating feelings at yahoo s search engine. Though i read about validation and active listening i didn t learn the importance of it. It sounds like _____ is really important to you. I m also saying, you should not feel sad. I work with as a social worker at a safehouse for abused/neglected children. then he might tell me a story about someone else he knew, maybe his dad or my mom, who had had a hard time with something. But once most people start, and feel safe and validated, they will continue. I have found, as i am sure you have, that it takes more to get some people talking than others. But these kids desparetely need to be heard. The relationship will be better because with more validation you are going to have less debating, less conflicts, and less disagreement. .
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